I'm back baby! ( blog challenge nr. 7, day TWO YEARS LATER!)

My zodiac sign and how I think it fits my personality.

Well, I am a Scorpio. And I think zodiac signs are utter bullcrap (I can write that word because it's true, and this is my blog) Many people have told me I am a typical Scorpio though. I guess I could be, in loosely defined ways.

According to the first website that popped up when I googled "zodiac sign scorpio" our strong points are Loyal, Passionate, Resourceful, Observant and Dynamic and our bad points are Jealous, Obsessive, Suspicious, Manipulative, Unyielding. It also says that we need to be in power positions in work situations, we are very independent and like to live alone, determined, good at hiding feelings and intentions and we can be controlling. All of this worded, of course, in a way that makes it applicable to almost any person.

So yes, I guess it fits in some ways. I can be very secretive, I am fiercely loyal to my friends, and a bit of a loner. But it also misses completely in some cases. I don't mind being in control or a leader at work, but I do not seek out power positions. If I think I am the best qualified I will do the leading, no problem, but in reality if there are more people in a work situation aside from me I prefer one of them to take charge. I don't think I am manipulative, as I always try to be mindful of everyone elses feelings (some times it tips over in to too much so) for that to really be an option for me. I can be jealous and obsessive at times, but I think most people can be to a certain extent, even if they are not aware of it. The website also notes that Scorpios tend to be interested in conspiracy theories, the occult and paranormal. I am not in any way interested in this any more. I will not deny that I was in my gothy teen days, but as I further educated myself in science and started researching these things more this has shifted to the opposite. I am very pro science, reasoning and logical thinking and even anti pseudoscience, religion and other mythological and wishful thinking, including most conspiracy theories.

The last thing the article mentions is that Scorpios are always more then meets the eye, but so is everyone who ever lived! Of course no one is the way that you see them in your first impression to the core, any human is way more complex psychologically then that. And you don't need to know their zodiac sign to know that.

things I want for my birthday.

because I've been asked to provide a list (since I am cronilcally hard to shop for) I've decided to make one here, for ease of use ;) :P

Things I want for my birthday are (in no particular order):

Nikon p7100 , or p7000 (previous generation of p7100) Oh yes. ;) One is allowed to dream...
Play station 3. Also allowed to dream...

books:
Chimera by Gert Nygårdshaug (very high on list ;P)
Blankets by Craig Thompson
Maus, by Art Spiegelman
Dance with dragons, George R.R. Martin
Nemi bok 6, monstermaskinen. 
 Digital Painting Techniques: Practical Techniques of Digital Art Masters: Masters Collection: Volume 1 
Imaginative realism (another high on list book)
the Art of Up!  
Art of the Princess and the Frog (also very high on list...)
Bold Visions: A Digital Painting Bible: The Digital Painting Bible




dvds:
the legend of the guardians
Tangled
Robin Hood, bbc series box set, 1st series
Merlin, complete 1st series

thats all I can think of right now. At least there is a good selection here Hanne Marie ;)

Vera is nolonger in England

...or Cornwall for that sake...

Since my last update was from Brittany, at some point just after Easter I decided it was time.

It's been an exciting, scary, wonderful and depressing almost half year. Relax, I won't go trough all of it here, that would take a bazillion years, and once again I am doing this in the middle of the night.

Short recap:

- Went to NY, it was good
- Had final show and sent my work to New Designers, that was good too.
- Last drunken nights in Fal. fun was had.
- Leaving Fal, not very fun. I miss you all <3
- My new job at Archeological museum on Stavanger was super fun. I worked with many lovely people and had a lot of silly times and sarcasm times. I also became quite good at needlebinding.
- 22. July, Utøya massacre. I din't know anyone who was there but it hit all of Norway hard. You can read a lot about this on other blogs, so I won't go in to it. But it broke something in me.
- Graduating was very very good, I got to meet all my England people again.
- Went to London for an interview and messed it up. Saw Wicked though, that was amazing.
- Seasonal job was over in September, and now I'm pretty much unemplyed.


Lately I've been sitting around at home trying to do work. Its been quite depressing because I have had time to think of my work and my life. In my experience thinking is not very productive for me. I tend to over analyze everyting, and that makes me very self concious about work and me and life. I've applied for a few "breadwinning jobs" and I am still working on my new website. It is going rather slowly, because I am using dreamweaver, and I have lost some of my notes for how that works. I am also not happy with the design, but I realise I just need to get it up now, and I am pushing trough. I need that up before I can serously start to apply for freelance work, and I really want to get started properly.

I am also working at producing stuff for a local con I am doing with Silje. We're going to be selling our cute handmade products and some prints and sutch. Hopefully that will be fun.

I feel like my life is a little bit on hold at the moment, and its not a good feeling. I just want to get out there and start my chareer properly, meet some new people and have fun. Being home in my mums house is always weird thoguh, because I feel like I am back in teenager mode, and I feel like I'm just not supposed to be here anymore. I also spend way too much time alone, because all my friends are working and buizy with their own lives.I like being alone, but too much alone time is not healthy for me.

I miss England, I miss Cornwall.

travel log from france. while I still remember.

the gang in King Arthurs forest area

A little less then a week ago the old shanty crew, with some new members for the occasion, went to Brittany for a folk festival. It was lovely and magical and I miss it already.

On Thursday I was still wondering if this was a good idea. I still hadn’t packed and I was looking at my workload with increasing dread of the 5 lost workdays. But I did actually make it to the rented van in time and we were off. First stop was to pick up Dave, then we had a food break on the grass outside a Shell, and at 11pm the ferry left Plymouth. That night was pretty dreadful sleep wise. The floor was very hard. But I made myself a little tent and read crown of thorns for a while without disturbing the other passengers too much.

When we got to France it was quite sunny and nice. On our drive to Brandivy we stopped off at a lovely forest to go se King Arthurs cave. We climbed rocks, looked at rivers, studied bugs and listened to the bird song. And the view was pretty amazing. The most of the time in the van was spent rehearsing shanties we hadn't sung in over half a year. After another hour or so of that we saw a sign with a fish on it and 100 meters down the road we drove up to the beautiful Castle Guen. There were loads of people and everything was quite confusing. But we took our shoes off and sat down in the grass, and talked to one of the family we were going to stay with and a lovely Dutch couple. We then had some food and were off to do some mini gigs, one at a school and one at an old folks home. Then we went "home" to Castle Guen and ate some amazing crepes and home made cider, before we went to a bar in Brandivy for music and drinks. I met a lot of people, and even someone who had the same ring as I do around their neck. I feel less special now. There was a lot of jamming and dancing going on, which turned out to be an almost constant occurrence at the festival. I regretted not bringing my flute.

Dave and Nely, amongst others, playing 

Saturday we woke up to a late breakfast, soon followed by an amazing lunch. Then we went to the village again to learn folk dancing, traditional songs and music and sit around in the sun. That night was the first of two fest Nozs, and we drank a lot of cider, sang some shanties, danced a bit and sat outside a lot. I met a very nice Swedish girl named Mai, who was in France as an exchange student, and Scandinavianness happened. 

Sunday started with an eater egg hunt in the garden where we were staying. Bex was very good at finding eggs. I was not so good. We then had a picnic and jam session before we went to a very nice 1700s(?) re-enactment village. (I would like to live there please.) There were tiny cows, very cute pigs, a lot of dancing and music and games. All in all a very beautiful place. When we got back to Castle Guen we had an amazing quiche meal, followed by good cheese and chocolate. And in the evening we drove for about 20 minutes to get to the big Fest Noz. That night I spent a lot of time nattering to new friends about games, illustration, animation and general geekiness. (I am hoping I didn’t make some ears bleed with all my talking, I may have been a little drunk :P) We also did some singing and dancing. And Dan was nice to me and I got a chocolate crepe. We bought cider by the bottle and when this finished we went back to the Castle for an after party. That was truly one of the strangest and most amazing parties I have been to in a while. There were so many great dunk musicians and we did a lot of singing and jamming and laughing. When it got to be about 5-6 in the morning the party was moved outside to a shed where we disturbed some bats. I would say the only thing that could have made it better is if it had been warm enough to go to sleep outside under the trees but I went inside to bed at about 6 and was really tired when I woke up at 11ish. 

 

 Monday was a day mainly spent chilling out in the grass, playing games and eating. There were sure a lot of picnics during the festival. We played sack race, throwing a ball in a toilet, throwing eggs at each other and knocking over boxes. I'm not the most athletic one, so most of that was spent sitting around chatting to my teammates about nerdy stuff and Falmouth again and making daisy chains. But at least during the quiz I was able to identify Denmark’s flag. Then I fell asleep in the sun as they jammed around me. That evening we had a last party at the castle. Unfortunately some people had to leave early but those of us who were left had a lot of fun. We had a fake bonfire of candles and danced a mill dance. There was more good homemade cider, mead and wine. We met the fish, who is the mascot for the festival and drank to much wine. Then Bex ate some horrible alcoholic raspberries, Molly played the carrot bombard in the room of a sleeping man, and Silje went to sleep by the trees.

potatosack race

The next morning we had to leave, and so we got up early and packed and said our goodbyes at the Castle. Lisa left without us for the Bar where we were all meeting up before leaving, so we had to catch a ride with someone else to get there. After a long goodbye there as well we set off home, most of us still a little hung over. 

The trip home started with going to a SuperU where we bought a lot of wine and cheese and some food for the trip. When we got to the boat we went straight on deck and had a small picnic there as well. Then a lot of the musicians gathered for a last jam session, entertaining the other passengers. I spent most of the crossing outside slightly seasick outside playing Scribbles with Joe, Matt, Silje and Bex. When it got calmer we went inside and played some shooting games. Arriving in to Plymouth we met a very nice boarder control man who actually said Siljes name right, then we dropped off Molly at the train station and picked up Jeffrey who would take her seat on the way back to Fal. The drive was spent listening to music (French sea shanties) drinking red wine and talking crazy talk, as we were all quite tired. And at around 11-12 we arrived back in Falmouth. Most of us went to bed, some stayed up to drink even more French wine.

It was such a great trip, and I am so glad I went even though I strictly speaking didn't have the time for it. As was said on Facebook by a festival friend after we got home "I think I have been to Middle Earth" and now I just want to go back.  

 

the last group photo, at the Plymouth train station

Norway times AGAIN!

I think I blog more on here when I'm in Norway then in England. Kind of silly with this title. But I'm to buisy to think about it over there so I forget, and I guess that is a good thing?

Norway is cold. I don’t like it at all. I think Falmouth made me too confortable, 15 degrees in march is pretty abnormal in most of England I hear, but in Fal it has happened every year I've lived there. And stepping of the plane after an 11-hour journey to 2 degrees and wind was not fun. Since I got home I've been doing boring stuff like running errands and done work. Unfortunately my stupid Photoshop messed with me the other day and corrupted my file so I have a lot of catching up to do this week... I am hoping to at least get to leave the house on a couple of occasions though. I feel the need for coffee with norwegs. :)  

I also have a lot of studying to do right now since I got an exciting new summer job with the archaeological museum in town. I'll be a summer guide at the iron age farm/museum, and there is a lot of readint theat needs to be done before my training next weekend. I'm super excited about it tough. It is the first job I've had in years that looks fun, and I'll be doing something I'm interested in while at the same time working with a group of people mainly my age and I get to be outside a lot. :D So fingers crossed for it being good.  It does mean I'll probably miss my graduation though. Thanks FXU/UCF! (That’s sarcasm by the way. I am in no way thankful to them!)

Quick update on life in Fal:
Before I left it was warm, nice and sunny. So obviously I spent most of my time inside painting things and not going in to uni. Trying to get ready for New York while suffering from a massive art block was not fun. Sad times. There have been a few parties since the last update. Toras house did two, one rocky horror/Baywatch/pretty clothes party (or lesbian party as it has been named for unknown reasons) and a Lord of the Rings party.  I had fun. :) I also learned that the Underground has the biggest selection of ciders I have seen in Fal. We also celebrated Bex's birthday before we left. Several times. Clearly the way to do it when you are turning OLD ;) We had a visitor form the cold north that week and we didn’t drink nearly as much as was planned. The week after we did a second gathering at the beach with some lovely free ale and stew that Bex made for us over the fire, followed by some enthusiastic singing.

I finished Bioshock, which was just as good as everyone has said it would be! Now I have withdrawal from shooting at stuff though. A large amount of Beyond Good and Evil isn’t really the same and mostly made me angry, even though that is pretty good too.

Silje and I also have an exciting new plan for our after uni lives. After the summer we are now planning on moving to Bristol. Which feels a lot less stressful then Brighton for some reason. It’s certainly a lot cheaper. And it's also kind of nice to stay on the west side of the country, because that's a lot closer to where a lot of people I know will be going after uni. It feels so weird to say that. After uni. The real world is a little worrying to be honest. But I get another family member in England next year though, so that is nice. Feels a little less far away from home. And she'll be in London, which isn't such a long journey from Bristol apparently. In Bristol I plan on having and awesome flat, and lots of fun. Oh and working I guess... Freelancing + conventioning craft stuff is my vague plan to get money and we will see where that leads. Hopefully we will make ends meet and do some career building, because I'm not ready to leave England for good just yet.

On that super rambly note I shall leave this blog alone, before this post turns even more monstrous. I think 2 in the morning may be a little late for me to blog :P

Some pictures:

Silje is dancing in Shades! Yay!

Drawing at the pub. :)





And a bonus, since this was such a long post:

Me as Avril Lavigne or something? :P It's what we did in scouts in Norway. :D

I interrupt the regular program

to give you and update and some thoughts.
and music.

music first:

I'm loving this girl at the moment.
I have a messy head these days. This helps me sort it a bit. :)

I've been reading so many blogs lately. all nicely written and/or beautiful/pretty or creative. I've seen many many awesome artworks, and read a lot of amazing books. a=And I've been caught in the trap I think many artists become trapped in at one point or another. You know, when you start comparing your work to everyone else's, and with so many amazing artists out there you start thinking "what am I doing?" I need to be better, my art needs to be perfect for it to have validity. And then you start the inevitable artists circle of doubt. A circle that stops creativity and only depresses you...

But I realised today that what is the problem is not my work. It's the way I think about my work. It sounds  so obvious when you think about it, but I really didn't see it before. Probably because I was too focused on how my work was "not good enough"...  So I'm trying to stop focusing on being good at art, and start focus on becoming better. Simple right? Makes so much sense... Now. :P if I just focus on becoming better with every drawing and every painting. Making every pice I work on not necessarily perfect, but better then the last I think my life will become a lot less stressful.

I'm posting this mainly to remind myself by the way. But I don't think I'm the only person who needs to be reminded sometimes...

-Rarr

Also. Have a Superb Owl ^^

30 day blog challenge. post 05/06

A time you thought about ending your own life.

I'm skipping this one. Because I don't really have much to say about it and it's to depressing in general. Sorry blog challenge, I guess I'm cheating.

NEXT!

30 interesting facts about yourself.

thought. This one may not be published tonight after all.

Hmm... Interesting... iiiiinterestiiing.
I don't know what's interesting about me. It's all pretty normal to me you know.

1. I used to be a bit of a goth. But there wasn't really a goth scene where I lived and, well, I didn't know where to buy clothes and such. So I was more of a mall goth/emo then anything. This was before emo got to Norway though. I used to wear all black, studs everywhere, had black hair with red highlights and panda makeup. I would also listen to my metal loudly on my discman and glare at anyone who walked on the bus I had to take to and from school so noone would sit next to me. Ah, youth.

2. at this instant I am dying my hair red. Bright and dark lovely red. I love crazy coloured hair. Other colours I've had include: pink(in many shades), purple, different blues, tropical green, orange. and they have all been combined in many different ways. I think my favourite colour ever was the "sunset hair" a lovely mix of orange red on top, then a warm pink, then a dark red underneath. Such a nice colour combination. Too bad it looked horrible on me :P

It is now 2 days later. time 02.04 date jan 31st
We try to continue...

3. I used to want to be a musical theatre performer/dancer/singer. I still sing and I used to dance until a couple of years ago. I still LOVE musical theatre. To me it's like the perfect way of mixing 4 of my favourite things in life: Music, dance, acting ad costume/stage design. When I was little I was so obsessed with music and dance that from before I can remember I used to hold shows for my family/friends/the whole bus/the general public. And I was addicted to applause, the Rachel line from glee "I need applause to live!" fit me weirdly well. I would make people clap for me for the littlest thing. I also nagged mum so much she got me in to ballet lessons a year before the we were really allowed to start.
going to an amazing musical show still makes me stupidly excited. Only real ones I've seen on stage though are grease, we will rock you and les mis.

4. This isn't that interesting to most and if you know me you will know this: but I've been a veggie for going on 7 years now. I tried to be vegan for a while, but it didn't work out for me.

5. I'm doing my dissertation on Wonder Woman and feminism. I know it sounds stupid to some but there is a real tie there, and it's really interesting.

6. My earliest memory is dacing around in the living room to the Blanke Ark album with Alf Proysen songs. I used to love that cd.

7. I get weirdly exited by silly things. Specifically good graphic design, and interesting stage design.

these are turning shorter so I'm going to bed now. May continue tomorrow. 30 interesting things is a lot...

19.00 next day

I am going on to less "interesting" things.

8. I have a teddybear called Baba. I've had him since I was born and he still sits in my bed. :)

9.  I know how to juggle. I'm quite bad at it but I think its fun. I get really impressed when I see people who are good at it. especially fire jugglers.

10. I have a birthmark. A proper one, not just a mole. I used to hate it because it made me feel different to everyone else. but I've kind of grown to like it because its part of  what makes me me. :P cheesy I know...

11. I have had in 10 piercings in total (not all at the same time) Now I only have 3. I also have a tattoo.. I used to be really in to body art and stuff. But I's kinda toned down a bit now. I still love the look of it though. I find piercings and such beautiful. :)

12. My favourite colour is green. It used to be blue. and it still has to be a blueish green

13. I have a fear of hights, and going on roller coasters.

14. I'm really interested in history and archeology. I think that if I wasnt doing illustration I would probably be doing archeology. I got accepted to the norwegian university of science and technology to do archeology the same year as I started Illustration.

15. I love comics and graphic novels. They were the first things i "read", by looking at the pictures and making up my own story, and they still kind of set me back to that way of thinking, but now with added text :P

16. I used to be in the Falmouth fish. as far as we know we were the youngest sea shanty band in England.

17. I love point and click games. They are silly, and I grew up playing them :)

18. I'm bad at spelling. The teachers in school thought I may be dyslexic but they couldn't be bothered to have me tested cause I read to well.

19. I need about 10 hours of sleep. On average I get six, cause I'm quite nocturnal.

20. I'm part finnish, part sami, mostly Norwegian and part mysterious foreigner.

21. I used to be pretty good at archery, for being a noob at least. I can't shoot guns at all though.

22. the summer when I was 12 I spent mostly inside reading the whole "saga om isfolket". thats like 60-70 books. :P oh dear.

23. I would like to have a Tamaskan. thats a dog breed that is a mix of sled dogs and other wolf like dogs and is the breed of dog that most resembles a wolf without having any wolf in it's recent heritage.

24. according to a chacra test I took tonight my most open chacras are the troat and the third eye. Those are the self expression and intellect ones.

25. My favourite dinosaur is the triceratops. I was quite sad when I found out some scientists think it's not even a real type but rather a young version of torosaurus. I hope they are wrong :P

26. I really like astronomy as well. Stars and other things in the night sky have always fascinated me. I still remember the first meteor I saw.

27. I can't understand people who don't read, because books are really important to me. Just like I can't understand people who say they don't like music. My favourite book ever is Mengele Zoo by Gert Nygårdshaug.

28. I used to play the flute.

29.  my eyes look like they change colour. they go from blue to green, apparently that is normal with grey eyes tough.

Ok. Last one.

30. I went to folk high school and did musical theatre. The best year of my life so far. I miss all my Viken friends so much <3 The best choice I ever made was probably to go there, because I really learnt so much. not just about music, but about people and myself as well. And I got to go to Russia

DONE!